Literal engagement...

Sensitivity is hard to come by. Sensibility is harder still. Sense is hardest of all.

Since I visited that mission I have for days on end have been unable to shake this feeling of bereftness, of not fully being here, of not being satisfied.

A friend of mine says that you have to find your passion, not your calling, not your path, not your wants or needs but an accumulation of all of that, find your passion.

What makes you want to do something. Anything. To make a difference in this world.

I stood there and thought to myself, this isn't something to be afraid of this is something to not want to end up in. But that being human, and being part of society we all have the ability to find ourselves in similar circumstances, is being literally engaged.

What is poverty really? What is it in this time and place? We are surrounded by multi-millionaires who are born out of a record, out of a book, a TV show...we are surrounded by people who seek education for the re numeration behind their degrees, with everyone striving to buy bigger houses, bigger cars, bigger lives.

Poverty is not welfare, it is not getting a monthly cheque, it is not receiving benefits, these are routes put in place so that you do not find yourself poverty stricken. We live in a country where there are ways to put food on the table, to place a roof over your head, to fund your education, but when all else fails sometimes you may find yourself in a line up waiting for a meal...

That is a place that any of us can find ourselves in, when people are losing millions what makes us immune to this cirucmstance? To be afraid of this is to deny ourselves the sense to live in this time and age.

This feeling of engagement made the whole season a time of reflection for me, as I toasted to well wishes for this year and next with those closest to me I realized that to truly live you must imagine your life in context, there are as many ways to lose as to win. To lose someone or to gain someone is of no consequence if you do not walk away from the experience with a firm respect for those who are still here.

I find and loose my passion for things very easily, but I have come to realize these past few days that maybe this is because I haven't found something that I truly feel blessed to be doing.

What I know now is that maybe walking into that mission brought me something that I never knew I wanted to be apart of ...