Courage comes in many forms but the greatest test of it is to live your life despite what people say, do or what's most felt, what they do not do.

You can live your life,
I will live mine,
neither has to mean less.

I will ensure,
that my own,
will never feel slighted,
never feel this way.

I cannot predict any future,
but neither can you.

I have loved despite your downfalls,
despite your choices,
despite your ability to leave others in their place,
while they commit sins against your own.

I am not an issuer of judgement,
but it does not sit well with me,
now or before,
how one sin is washed away,
while the other is not.

The calmness of your denial,
hurts,
but no more than the terror,
you still allow to consume us.

When will it be over? You ask.
I ask myself that too.
When will it be over?

When you realize,
that the greater issue,
is not mine,
its yours.

As long as you cater to our destruction,
I will continue to ask.

Years pass,
aging continues,
but nothing changes.

The want for change is ending here,
I will not be a continuance of your destruction.

Cosmopolitan...

says that you may think I don't see my mistakes, but I do, you may think I do not see the less than perfect consequences, but I do...see what you don't see is that my love is just as good as yours and maybe just maybe I am stronger than you think. Your consequences were yours, mine are mine, but at least I am not living under the assumption that others do not see my reality...as you do.

Sometimes when you make the wrong decisions and things don't turn out the way you assume, there is alot more than just the mistake out there to deal with. You deal with the backlash of all the people in your life that are there to witness it and usually those who reference it for your life time. I have found that alot of life is filled with wrong decisions, possible mistakes and usually untimely events but that the essence of life is making your way through them.

I have for a long time felt ashamed or lesser as a person because of certain mistakes that I have made and certain issues that are still at a forefront of my life. I have always felt bad about things that now in retrospect I should have never felt bad about, but that in itself is a learning experience.

Hours ago, I stood in front of a person who showed me that one thing will never change in my life, and that is the fact that you don't know me. You don't know the highs in my life because you only concentrate on the lows. You don't know my happiness from my sadness because you refuse to be part of my life. You only want your segment and your ideals of what is good for me, never have you put aside your concept of reality for mine. That should have been clear to me from the outset but sadly it wasn't, its certainly clear now.

People say that family is a foundation of life but what is the point of building with bricks but nor mortar? Its as useless as a glass house.

See its easy to measure people with the yardstick of life, but harder still to measure someone by the hurdles they have overcome, because some people never encounter them either due to what they may consider "good choices" or simply the inability to live life. The assumption that some are better than others because as of a certain time they have accomplished certain things does not make them a better person, nor a good person.

There can never be cohesion when you cannot even see parts of the issue, when you cannot face the reality of those who are part of your life. I am not fighting for your acceptance anymore, nor your understanding, I am going to carry on as others do and keep my thoughts aside.

See I have realized my greatest mistake and that has been the hope that you would for my sake, accept. But now I realize that I will have to create for me, outside of this, and stop denying me.

But one day you will realize that to deny me is to deny you.